Apparently you make a good broom.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
