i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
