Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
