I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's never too late to be topless.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
