I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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