Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
