i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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