I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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