Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
