Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
