i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
