Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
