We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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