So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
