she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
