Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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