I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
