Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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