YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
