I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
