Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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