I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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