well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
