This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
home. puking in laundry basket.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
