We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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