The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We just shotgunned beers for America
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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