Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We have started to decorate penises.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
