He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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