lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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