he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
why is half of my head shaved?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
