Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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