Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
