dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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