Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
