There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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