when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he laminated a picture of his dick.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
