I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
