I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
