i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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