Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
