I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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