I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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