i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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