you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
love makes seman taste better
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
