possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
