I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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