Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
