Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
pray to the hookup gods
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize