"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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