The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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