I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
