2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
